Milkshake of My Mind

I've always dreamt of being a doctor since I was little. A medical doctor to be specific. I've wanted to become a Pediatrician but later on it was changed to an Orthopedic Surgeon after I underwent a surgery for scoliosis. I'm the type of person who plans for my future way way ahead. In fact when I was in grade 2, my future is already planned. Yes, I am that matured. I already planned that time that I am going to Philippine Science in high school and UP for college to study Medicine. Out of all those plans, only the study in UP for college was granted. Now that I'm in UP, my degree is not Medicine but something close it, Dental Medicine. I should have been specific with my prayers that "I want to be a doctor of medicine" not just "I want to be a doctor" LOL.

Dental Medicine is a very difficult course and it takes 6 years to graduate. If I still want to be a doctor of medicine when I graduated, that's another 5 years. I'm scared of the time I'll be wasting but whatever I just have to trust the Lord of what He has planned for me.

I'm bitter of my current course before, it takes time to accept but now I really appreciate it and I learned a lot. But I still cannot hide the fact that I want to be a doctor of medicine not dental medicine. But wherever I may land, I think I'll do good. Yeah, that's the fighting spirit lol. :))

So for this semester, we are studying anatomy and histology in the UP College of Medicine. YAY! Dream college. Included in this course (subject) is a lab wherein we are dissecting a cadaver and see the anatomy of human body. We already have and we will be doing it for a semester. This course made me feel like a med student which felt good. I feel like I am one step closer to my dream and sometimes I feel that I have fulfilled my dream. 

Dissecting the cadaver was creepy at first. Who wants to be with someone dead? We learned that it died last August 2010 and it came from a mental hospital. We pray before we begin dissecting.  We dissect 3x a week and on Wednesdays, it's whole day. Before, I felt not eating Sinigang for dinner after a day of dissection because I see the orientation of fibers from the pork I'm eating. But now, it's like we're just dissecting a cat and the head is already cut into half longitudinally. It's difficult to search for the parts we need to study, unlike in the cat wherein it's not scary because it's not that complex. Plus it's difficult to identify the nerves, arteries, veins, and you have a lot to study and memorize. But it's worth it I know and it's an experience that is very close to my heart. :)

I want to meet someone new. I am not a friendly person
I want to talk to someone I don't personally know. I am afraid of talking to someone I don't know personally.
I want to meet my special someone soon. I don't meet new people regularly.
I want to fall in love. I want to be loved.  

It is my Christmas break already and yet I can't think of anything to post here or maybe I'm lazy to post here. But my life's not that colorful enough for a normal people to read and be entertained. Everything that's happening to me now is a new experience I am thankful of, academic-wise.

We skinned a cadaver.

Today, I ended up rereading Lovely Complex. It's the first manga series I've read and got addicted too when I was in High School. I love Koizumi and Otani's tandem very much!!! I feel the kilig all over again!!!

Anyway, my favorite chapter will always be Chapter 27!!! <3

Say hello to my everyday messy look ;) I'm not shy to show this around since this is the real ME. The real me who doesn't take care of how she looks. With this state, I'm exactly the typical home buddy girl. I rarely go out. Besides school, I go out only when there's a specific reason I agree upon. I go out when there are trips, lakad and my cousins. The last time I played outside with my neighbors was when I was in grade 5 and all of them were boys. LOL. As if I have choice because all of my neighbors before were boys of more or less my age. I just stay at home and repeat my everyday routine of: waking up at 12nn > eating lunch (brunch is the appropriate term) > opening the internet - facebook, twitter, tumblr, browse, read articles OR watch korean dramas, series I've  been following OR read a book > dinner > do all those again > sleep at 12mn - 1am. Yeah, I abuse myself too much that's why I have no chance to gain weight. Since I was in grade 3 up to now that I am in 3rd yr college, my weight only ranges from 35-38 kg. Really :"(

I just posted this just so you'll have a background of me. Thanks for reading :)

Last May was the first time I ride an airplane. I really am scared at first since I'm not the type of person who enjoys riding a rollercoaster and those other extreme rides. But I really enjoyed that airplane ride because  it was not as what I thought at first, it's just like a normal land vehicular ride. I also get to see the clouds which I am very thrilled about. I appreciated more God's creation up in there.

I wonder when is the next one.

I'm a 1st year proper Dental Medicine or Dentistry (as to what it is known) student in UP Manila. So basically, all my rants and posts here are related to it since what I have now are family and school life. Yes, that is sad, I lack the social and love life. LOL. Whatever.

Do I like my course? No, I honestly don't. My dream is to become a medical doctor and not a dental doctor. I was stuck in here, I have no choice. But God only knows what will happen to me in the future.

Everything in my course is difficult! It is very toxic. It's like we don't have time to breathe and to unwind. Every week there's an exam. There are too many requirements and the professors are like expecting you to be perfect even if you're doing it the first time (I'm talking about lab works). Like now, I should be drawing and carving the molars to be passed on Tuesday but procrastinating is what I'm doing.

You're waiting on weekend when in fact you still have a lot to do on a weekend. 

I made this blog last 2008. Apparently, it is just now I started to think of going back to blogging again. Although, I blog to my tumblr, I feel that everything is limited there. I may be hypocrite to say that I don't like my posts to be likened but what I really want is a reader and not a mere follower.

I also had a wordpress account before, a gift from a friend in high school, wherein I regularly post since it was my first official blog. After the subscription has ended, I was forced to move out to tumblr.

I'm keeping this blog as secret as possible to keep so I will not have hesitation on what I feel to post. It somehow delimits you when you know there are close people you know reading your posts.

I may not blog regularly, that is for sure.