Thursday, February 1, 2018
Sunday, October 22, 2017
Consolidation
Photo taken at UP Vargas Museum
It's 2:39 AM and here I am blogging instead of finishing my Oral Histology reviewers. ugh. I suddenly remembered to update this blog. I swear I was productive before this took my attention. LOL. Anyways, here goes my midnight thoughts and rants...
I've actually proven that I have delayed reaction to stuff. Like when things happened, I just don't seem to care at first then eventually ending up feeling hurt and emotional a month after. And you know what, that feeling sucks! Because for all you know, here you are hurting and overthinking when in fact a month before it actually happened you thought you were alright and surviving well. It sucks when you got overthrown by your emotions but you know denying it will just make it worse. Let's be quick with healing please, time.
Why did I even push my luck when I know all along that I ain't lucky. Why did I ruin the happiness I was feeling before. Haay..
Why did I even push my luck when I know all along that I ain't lucky. Why did I ruin the happiness I was feeling before. Haay..
A month to go before Dentistry Board Exam and I'm having a hard time finding the motivation to study diligently everyday huhu. I guess this is what you call the burnout stage. Also, my brain's supersaturated already with information huhu I'm scared. I think I've forgotten a lot already. What the hell is happening with me. I'm definitely not a quitter. I should stay focused.
Speaking of staying focused, I'm becoming laxed lately that I'm not forcing myself to study in the morning since I'm a night person and studying at night makes me focused better. However, as I've said, I'm at the burnout stage already so even at night I'm becoming less productive. huhu. What used to be studying for 6+ hours a day is now reduced to maybe 4.
I'm down to last 2 subjects out of 24. After these 2, I'm studying the Q&As. I am really hoping I have absorbed a lot from my review since July.
What the fuck I should not cram the boards. What was I thinking? huhu
Saturday, September 23, 2017
Grateful Board #4
So much stuff has been going on and lately I was feeling under the weather.. so i really needed to publish this grateful board..
1. This is the view from my room's balcony. I am glad to be staying in our house while reviewing: free food and comfortable surrounding.
2. I recently discovered the band, Day Wave! Their music is so good. Instant review playlist!
3. Really grateful that the only thing I am thinking right now.. well, the MAJOR thing, is review, review, review! Despite that it sometimes makes me wanna vomit, I'd rather have this than what I've experienced in the College.. thinking of requirements, patient schedules, and terror professors. Super glad that I am free from it.
4. I get to exercise everyday hehehe I wanna have abs..
5. I have more time for social awareness because yeah i am free.
Wednesday, August 9, 2017
The Ballad Of..
I don't know why but everytime I hear this Hale song, it makes me sad. It's like the song brings me all the feels from all of my past love, hopes and desperations. It's made me feel empty and question myself why nothing worked. Was I too scared to take a leap and risk myself to falling into uncertainty? Or do i just know better? When will it be the right time when all I can see are the flaws flashing before my eyes? Should I stop thinking and just let my heart go with the flow?
[edit:]
Really frustrated! Just how do you know if someone seriously like you or just playing with your feelings? Did I build my walls too tall that even I can't get out of it?
[edit:]
Really frustrated! Just how do you know if someone seriously like you or just playing with your feelings? Did I build my walls too tall that even I can't get out of it?
[edit: 2]
He's a fake. He's an asshole.
Wednesday, March 8, 2017
Nice Things
For the longest time, it is just now that I feel happy and at peace at the same time. Because apparently you can be a happy for a moment then the next minute it is gone. I never thought that doing the same routine everyday could be this happy. That commuting for work in the morning and evening could be this tiring but happy. That listening to music in between rides would be this calming. That I can be this passionate towards work and patients. That I am well compensated at work. That I am in good hands at work. That I am going home everyday and eating my mother's cooked meals. That I am spending time in my own room and bed and pillows. That I am thankful whenever I walk on our street going home while looking at the night sky and stars. That having long distance relationship with friends would be this tolerable. That it is not hard accepting that i did not end up where i want to be.
I can finally taste freedom. Maybe this is the answer that God has answered before I even asked those questions. Thank You Lord.
Wednesday, November 30, 2016
Never Home
It's 2 AM and instead of sleeping, I have decided to update this once again, long and forgotten blog. I took this photo at 3 AM in the morning last June when I desperately went out at that hour to have our thesis printed for a supposedly presentation the next day. I do not know why but this is my favorite shot from that time until now. It also somehow relates to my current favorite song which is Never Home by Mirror Days in ways I do not know how. Well maybe because it is a sad song and this picture has also the same feels.
So much for the intro..
I am currently on my 8th yr 1st sem in UPCD. I started the sem with a lot of hope that I will finally be graduating in 2 months or so. But here I am still struggling at the end of the semester fighting my way out. I am near the finish line but also the time is nearing its end. I am scared for the coming days because it will be the make it or break it days. I hope I can make it. I hope we can make it. I want to already move on to the better next chapters of my life.
I am praying and praying and praying. Dear God, I hope this time is my time.
Sunday, June 12, 2016
1 AM Thoughts
Too many things happened in the previous months i was MIA.. The sadness i was in during the days of CD exam.. How a person motivated me for awhile but last straw happened.. Happy for that person to find a person because I cannot be that person.. Cemented my 2 FPD cases which what really motivated me until the end of semester.. Pain in the ass patients.. Super scared with the professor who had bad blood with me.. Thankful for understanding and helpful family and friends.. Learning to be on track again when there's just too many road bumps along the way.. Music! Super thankful for the existence of music.. Seeing another person accidentally for the second time.. Did not bother and moved on with my life.. A much needed Holy Week break.. A birthday gift phone from my dad.. Going to school before 8 for the first time in years.. Snapchat.. Giving up then rising again.. Thesis.. late night thesis.. Toys.. Sickness.. My super cute cousin Baste bringing joy to everyone.. Hope.. Wishful thinking.. Faith.. Another sem to go.. Friends who commit.. Overthinking skill.. Priorities..
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