Sunday, October 22, 2017

Consolidation

Shaliza 12:05 PM No comments
Photo taken at UP Vargas Museum

It's 2:39 AM and here I am blogging instead of finishing my Oral Histology reviewers. ugh. I suddenly remembered to update this blog. I swear I was productive before this took my attention. LOL. Anyways, here goes my midnight thoughts and rants...

I've actually proven that I have delayed reaction to stuff. Like when things happened, I just don't seem to care at first then eventually ending up feeling hurt and emotional a month after. And you know what, that feeling sucks! Because for all you know, here you are hurting and overthinking when in fact a month before it actually happened you thought you were alright and surviving well. It sucks when you got overthrown by your emotions but you know denying it will just make it worse. Let's be quick with healing please, time.

Why did I even push my luck when I know all along that I ain't lucky. Why did I ruin the happiness I was feeling before. Haay.. 

A month to go before Dentistry Board Exam and I'm having a hard time finding the motivation to study diligently everyday huhu. I guess this is what you call the burnout stage. Also, my brain's supersaturated already with information huhu I'm scared. I think I've forgotten a lot already. What the hell is happening with me. I'm definitely not a quitter. I should stay focused. 

Speaking of staying focused, I'm becoming laxed lately that I'm not forcing myself to study in the morning since I'm a night person and studying at night makes me focused better. However, as I've said, I'm at the burnout stage already so even at night I'm becoming less productive. huhu. What used to be studying for 6+ hours a day is now reduced to maybe 4. 

I'm down to last 2 subjects out of 24. After these 2, I'm studying the Q&As. I am really hoping I have absorbed a lot from my review since July.  

What the fuck I should not cram the boards. What was I thinking? huhu 

Saturday, September 23, 2017

Grateful Board #4

Shaliza 6:51 AM No comments

So much stuff has been going on and lately I was feeling under the weather.. so i really needed to publish this grateful board..
1. This is the view from my room's balcony. I am glad to be staying in our house while reviewing:  free food and comfortable surrounding.
2. I recently discovered the band, Day Wave! Their music is so good. Instant review playlist!
3. Really grateful that the only thing I am thinking right now.. well, the MAJOR thing, is review, review, review! Despite that it sometimes makes me wanna vomit, I'd rather have this than what I've experienced in the College.. thinking of requirements, patient schedules, and terror professors. Super glad that I am free from it.
4. I get to exercise everyday hehehe I wanna have abs..
5. I have more time for social awareness because yeah i am free.

Wednesday, August 9, 2017

The Ballad Of..

Shaliza 12:51 AM No comments


I don't know why but everytime I hear this Hale song, it makes me sad. It's like the song brings me all the feels from all of my past love, hopes and desperations. It's made me feel empty and question myself why nothing worked. Was I too scared to take a leap and risk myself to falling into uncertainty? Or do i just know better? When will it be the right time when all I can see are the flaws flashing before my eyes? Should I stop thinking and just let my heart go with the flow?

[edit:]
Really frustrated! Just how do you know if someone seriously like you or just playing with your feelings? Did I build my walls too tall that even I can't get out of it? 

[edit: 2]
He's a fake. He's an asshole. 

Wednesday, March 8, 2017

Nice Things

Shaliza 9:03 AM No comments
For the longest time, it is just now that I feel happy and at peace at the same time. Because apparently you can be a happy for a moment then the next minute it is gone. I never thought that doing the same routine everyday could be this happy. That commuting for work in the morning and evening could be this tiring but happy. That listening to music in between rides would be this calming. That I can be this passionate towards work and patients. That I am well compensated at work. That I am in good hands at work. That I am going home everyday and eating my mother's cooked meals. That I am spending time in my own room and bed and pillows. That I am thankful whenever I walk on our street going home while looking at the night sky and stars. That having long distance relationship with friends would be this tolerable. That it is not hard accepting that i did not end up where i want to be. 

I can finally taste freedom. Maybe this is the answer that God has answered before I even asked those questions. Thank You Lord. 
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